Saturday, August 20, 2011

Tales of a Dating Drop Out

Sort of. I never expected to find myself in the position that I now find myself. Options. Tons and tons of options. Options seem like a good thing until you examine them a little closer. Some options include a lot of baggage, others include some severe character flaws, while others involve distance and also age. I am talking about my dating life. There have been a parade of people who have come into my life and the first few dates seem normal and then the reality of the person sneaks up on me. They might be intolerably late, rude to people in public places, distracted,or even way too into me. If it isn't one thing then it is another. It's depressing and I find myself at the beginning of a first date wondering "what will this one's fatal flaw be?"..."what is the deal breaker here?".

I find myself questioning whether my standards are set way too high? Are they? I don't think so. I don't want to find myself in a serious relationship with someone who from the beginning annoys me. That just seems like a recipe for relationship disaster. I have figured out a few things on this *ahem* adventure(I use that term loosely). Sense of humor is huge to me. Like if I don't laugh within the first few minutes, there is no point in going on. I like a man to open my door and get my seat(I'm a tad old fashioned). I like to be picked up at my house. I don't mind meeting someone somewhere here and there but it's nice to be fetched ;) I appreciate a guy with creativity and passion for things in his life. I want someone who has their own group of friends but who also enjoys mine. I don't mind just staying in and watching a movie every now and then. We don't always have to be going and doing. So an ability to be relaxed is important. Faith is a big deal. I was over the top impressed by one date that played a song for me. It was Third Days, Born Again. I couldn't help but smile knowing this was someone of obvious faith and comfortable enough in his faith to share that with me on one of our first dates. I don't want more kids. This has been a deal breaker on the flip side. I get that a guy who has never had kids would want them, but I just can't do it again. So if my own list isn't crossing them off then I may be being crossed off theirs.

Oy! It's confusing and difficult and makes me want to hang up my hat and just say. Enough! But I still get out there and keep trying. I haven't been at this very long and I already feel this way. I wonder how I will feel in a year if I'm still in this position. You might check your local nunnery in that case.

3 comments:

  1. I keep seeing these lists of what kind of guy not to date, and I feel like the subtitles all should be, "Or why Mike can't get a date..."

    ;)

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  2. I think you need a new pool of candidates. How about Raleigh?

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  3. I think it's wise to know your deal breakers and stick with them. No need to rush into anything and definitely no need to settle. Way to go!

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