Funk

That is the only way to describe the mood I have been in for over a week now. I have moments where I come out of this dark pit but then I wake up in the morning and realize it's another day just like the one before it. Nothing has changed. I'm still in the same situation that is no closer to being resolved. I get angry that the person who wanted this divorce is now the one who is doing none of the work for it. It's the least he could do. He put me here. So man up and take some action.

I'm absent emotionally from a lot of things right now. It's just easier to disconnect than to stop and really feel. It's easier to crawl in bed and sleep. It's easier to avoid talking to people and it's much easier to pretend than to really share my pain. How is it that I come back to this place, just when I think I've triumphed over it? I try to look at it on a timeline. The gaps are getting longer. I spend less time here.

So it's one of those times that I am reflecting on what went wrong, reflecting on the people who have and are still loving me through this, and once again allowing myself to be in a funk. I'm giving myself one more day and then I'm going to pull myself back up and put my game face on. And hopefully it will be some time before I revisit this side of me again.