Laughing is essential in life. I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh. I love to share the things that make me laugh with others. So enjoy these two things that brought me joy this week.
This is one that I had already seen but it just never gets old. I could use some of this shampoo this week:
Jenny at the Bloggess always makes me laugh. I stalk her blog. This particular entry/article has brought me such great laughs. I just have to share it:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/cosmetic-vagina-surgery-0616111/
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Cheating, Adultery, Douchebaggery...whatever you want to call it
I had a conversation today with someone who will for obvious reasons remain nameless. The conversation involved this person divulging to me that they had had an affair. This person actually thought I'd understand why they went outside of their marriage because I have spoken that I am happier now that I am away from marriage, which is a true statement, but the thing is even though I can say that now, I still would not have ended my marriage because of this. I didn't feel sympathy for this person and their loveless marriage or the fact that they weren't happy. I was pissed off. I had to remind myself that this was an opportunity for me to share my thoughts on this subject.
The first thing I told this person is that they owed it to their marriage/spouse to do everything possible to strengthen and to renew the relationship they had. I honestly believe most marriages can be saved if both parties will just get past their own selfishness and really look at the person that they married and see their needs. I loved two books last year The Love Dare and also The Five Love Languages. I recommend them to anybody who I think might need them. They didn't save my marriage but that was because only one of us wanted it to be saved.
If saving the marriage isn't possible then they owe it to that spouse who they promised their life to, to leave them before any kind of cheating occurs. Being cheated on is humiliating. It makes you feel worthless and it brings up so many raw emotions of betrayal at its greatest level. I could have accepted a mid-life crisis, a hormonal imbalance, that my spouse didn't love me or that he was homo-sexual easier than I could have an affair. This person actually told me that their marriage was just dull and boring now, that they wanted the thrill of the first kiss and the first date. I get that. It is exciting, but I would trade that in a heartbeat for the constancy of marriage, for a partner to talk to about issues in my life, someone to make decisions with and someone who knows you who knows your body and that comfort level you just have with a spouse. I miss that.
I then went on to ask this person what kind of relationship they expected to have with the exciting party once they both have left their dull lives and hopped the fence. Crazy answer! "They get me", "Physically it is amazing", "we have fun together". Well no shit. It's fun because it's like you are on a roller coaster. It's partly scary and partly thrilling, but the ride ends. And then you are left with this person, with each other, two people who can't be trusted. What then? You sit around and wait for the first one to cheat? That sounds like an amazing way to live your life.
I have no idea if I reached this person. I probably didn't, but at least I didn't sit idly by and allow them to spew this crap and make it sound like they deserved better. I imagine they won't be coming to me for advice or as a good ear in the future. I have some major opinions on this and I can't give on them. It isn't ok with me. I don't want to hear about it. In fact I'm pretty fired up about it right now. It would probably be best for me to avoid this particular couple for the long haul now.
The first thing I told this person is that they owed it to their marriage/spouse to do everything possible to strengthen and to renew the relationship they had. I honestly believe most marriages can be saved if both parties will just get past their own selfishness and really look at the person that they married and see their needs. I loved two books last year The Love Dare and also The Five Love Languages. I recommend them to anybody who I think might need them. They didn't save my marriage but that was because only one of us wanted it to be saved.
If saving the marriage isn't possible then they owe it to that spouse who they promised their life to, to leave them before any kind of cheating occurs. Being cheated on is humiliating. It makes you feel worthless and it brings up so many raw emotions of betrayal at its greatest level. I could have accepted a mid-life crisis, a hormonal imbalance, that my spouse didn't love me or that he was homo-sexual easier than I could have an affair. This person actually told me that their marriage was just dull and boring now, that they wanted the thrill of the first kiss and the first date. I get that. It is exciting, but I would trade that in a heartbeat for the constancy of marriage, for a partner to talk to about issues in my life, someone to make decisions with and someone who knows you who knows your body and that comfort level you just have with a spouse. I miss that.
I then went on to ask this person what kind of relationship they expected to have with the exciting party once they both have left their dull lives and hopped the fence. Crazy answer! "They get me", "Physically it is amazing", "we have fun together". Well no shit. It's fun because it's like you are on a roller coaster. It's partly scary and partly thrilling, but the ride ends. And then you are left with this person, with each other, two people who can't be trusted. What then? You sit around and wait for the first one to cheat? That sounds like an amazing way to live your life.
I have no idea if I reached this person. I probably didn't, but at least I didn't sit idly by and allow them to spew this crap and make it sound like they deserved better. I imagine they won't be coming to me for advice or as a good ear in the future. I have some major opinions on this and I can't give on them. It isn't ok with me. I don't want to hear about it. In fact I'm pretty fired up about it right now. It would probably be best for me to avoid this particular couple for the long haul now.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The ADD guide to packing up a house
The title is misleading because I have no intention of guiding or even helping with this post. I just had a good laugh at myself as I realized that in the last hour of "packing" I have been in Coryn's closet and packed up 1 box of her shoes. I was in Ella's room where I packed up a box of her stuff and then back to Coryn's room where I made her bed, at which time I found a picture she drew that I wanted to keep so I headed downstairs where I opened up the cabinet where all the kept pictures are and decided that I should make a kid craft box. What a great idea because then they can still have their craft stuff for the next two weeks. I actually accomplished this task and was thinking I should go through those cabinets some more when I realized that I had intended on finishing up another box that was downstairs with the coats from Coryn's closet as padding. I suppose you get the idea at this point. It would be so much freaking easier to get this house packed up if I could just FOCUS!
Does anyone have some Ritalin to spare? God help me!
Does anyone have some Ritalin to spare? God help me!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The men in my life
"I live with her in the beauty of peace and of all delight and sweetness, I am directed by her counsels, supported by her prayers. I press forward by her merits, I am upheld by her kindnesses and daily I enjoy conversation with her."
Guibert of Gembloux regarding Hildegard of Bingen
I have been watching my oldest, for the last couple of years, forge a friendship with the boy across the street. It is interesting to watch. At times I think there is somewhat of a mutual crush that is happening and then at other times, I see them acting just as friends do. They spend any time that they have at home, together. He is a fixture at our house and is a great kid so I don't mind. We will be moving in a couple of weeks and I know this will be hard on them, but we'll make every effort to continue this friendship from a few neighborhoods away. This friendship has made me reflect on all of the great male/female relationships I have had in my life and how those "boys" helped me become who I am now.
My first boy/girl friendship was with a boy named William. He lived next door. He constantly had a Kool-Aid mustache and could do no wrong in his mother's eyes. We spent hours playing kickball, riding our bikes and just hanging out in the side yards between our two houses. He was my first kiss although it was gross and it never happened again, and he was the one who spilled the beans on Santa. I have no idea where William is now, but he gets the honor of being my first male "friend".
A few years later...ok actually a lot of years later and I am in high school...I met Bryan. Bryan and I were probably the most unlikely of friends. This was a relationship that teetered on friendship/romance constantly. We never tipped the scales into the romance department though. He had an apartment our senior year in high school(long story) and I spent a ton of time there. I had a crush on his best friend, which resulted in a fight between the two of them. We shared our dating adventures and misadventures with each other. I was hurt on my wedding day when Bryan didn't show up. Out of every friend who was important for me to have there, he was the one. Honestly I would have had him stand up with me. Bryan reappears in my life every now and then and it is like we have never been apart. He is now married to a beautiful woman and has three gorgeous kiddos and I could not be happier for him. He is in politics now, which is no surprise to me at all.
Jeff came along around the same time that Bryan did. We went to church camp together. We spent hours watching all of the 80's brat pack movies. Breakfast Club will forever be our movie, and I'll never be able to enjoy a Kit-Kat ever again thanks to him. Jeff worked at the movie theater with my boyfriend at the time and so I saw a ton of movies with the two of them. Jeff and I rode to school every day together and then we spent our freshman year at Graceland together. He was like the brother I never had. I ran into him at a Mavericks game awhile back and he hasn't changed a bit. He is an artist now.
When I got married it was harder to keep up these friendships. I let them slide. Partly because I didn't feel that it was appropriate for me to be so close to these guys. I never realized how much I missed having male friends in my life until J.R. left. He never really filled that role for me. We could laugh and have a good time together, but he and I never had that bond that I had with my other male friends throughout my life. That brother bond.
In October I received a message through Facebook from a guy, Travis, that I had gone to junior high/high school with, offering me support during this difficult time. He was going through a similar situation and we began corresponding. I honestly am not quite sure that I would have made it through these past 8 months without him. He knows everything that goes on in my life. I know everything that goes on his. We talk/text every single day and he has given me some of the best advice. He lives in Atlanta(he's a wine/beer/liquor distributor) so we don't see each other. I met him in 7th grade history class. My opinion of him at that time was not that great. He sat next to a girl(bully) who made my life hell. I associated him with her. He then asked me out a few years later and I turned him down rather harshly. I thought he was arrogant and full of himself and wanted nothing to do with him. We laugh about this now. I can't imagine not having him in my life.
Around this same time, Nick came into my friendship loop. Although he is my first guy friend that I have mixed "dating" with. He has also been a constant support during this difficult time. He was a completely unexpected friend for me. I've known him for several years, but never really got to know him. He's funny and easy to talk to. I love that he is introducing me to my new single life by showing me new adventures outside of my suburban bubble. I refuse to let the "dating" mess up the friendship aspect of us though. I like having him as a friend too much.
Then there's Mike. Hi Mike(cause I know you are reading this). He is my Twitter friend. He too has shared the depressing journey of my past year. He makes me laugh and offers me support when I need it. I tease him relentlessly about being his stalker. I think he and I will be friends for a long time. When are we accidentally going to Blanc? (see how I did that? to force you to comment ;))
There are other men who have been my friends at one time or another. They are not less important in having some sort of impact on my life, these are just a few that stand out to me as I reflect today.
People often discuss whether or not men and women can actually be friends. There can be an argument on either side honestly. I have feelings for all of these guys. Are they romantic? Not necessarily. Have there been romantic feelings or confusion with some of them? Yes. But with that said, most of them, I would never have crossed that line because I wouldn't have wanted to muddy the friendship waters. I truly feel like men offer women a distinct and truthful view of life. Women tend to nurture and agree with each other. I have found that if I want the honest truth with no cushion, then I should ask a guy. I know this works the other way as well. Case in point: Travis texted me awhile back on a first date and asked if it was ok for him to get the number of ANOTHER girl while his "date" was in the restroom? Since he wasn't going to go out with this girl again. My response? "Hell no!!" And then the next time we talked I chastised him for even thinking that might be kosher! These questions and interactions are the beauty of male/female friendships.
As I watch my daughter with her first male friend, I reflect on how important the male friends I have and have had are to me. I hope that my daughters find some really great guy friends growing up to share their journeys with, to ask embarassing questions to, to make memories with. I can't imagine my life without these guys in it.
Guibert of Gembloux regarding Hildegard of Bingen
I have been watching my oldest, for the last couple of years, forge a friendship with the boy across the street. It is interesting to watch. At times I think there is somewhat of a mutual crush that is happening and then at other times, I see them acting just as friends do. They spend any time that they have at home, together. He is a fixture at our house and is a great kid so I don't mind. We will be moving in a couple of weeks and I know this will be hard on them, but we'll make every effort to continue this friendship from a few neighborhoods away. This friendship has made me reflect on all of the great male/female relationships I have had in my life and how those "boys" helped me become who I am now.
My first boy/girl friendship was with a boy named William. He lived next door. He constantly had a Kool-Aid mustache and could do no wrong in his mother's eyes. We spent hours playing kickball, riding our bikes and just hanging out in the side yards between our two houses. He was my first kiss although it was gross and it never happened again, and he was the one who spilled the beans on Santa. I have no idea where William is now, but he gets the honor of being my first male "friend".
A few years later...ok actually a lot of years later and I am in high school...I met Bryan. Bryan and I were probably the most unlikely of friends. This was a relationship that teetered on friendship/romance constantly. We never tipped the scales into the romance department though. He had an apartment our senior year in high school(long story) and I spent a ton of time there. I had a crush on his best friend, which resulted in a fight between the two of them. We shared our dating adventures and misadventures with each other. I was hurt on my wedding day when Bryan didn't show up. Out of every friend who was important for me to have there, he was the one. Honestly I would have had him stand up with me. Bryan reappears in my life every now and then and it is like we have never been apart. He is now married to a beautiful woman and has three gorgeous kiddos and I could not be happier for him. He is in politics now, which is no surprise to me at all.
Jeff came along around the same time that Bryan did. We went to church camp together. We spent hours watching all of the 80's brat pack movies. Breakfast Club will forever be our movie, and I'll never be able to enjoy a Kit-Kat ever again thanks to him. Jeff worked at the movie theater with my boyfriend at the time and so I saw a ton of movies with the two of them. Jeff and I rode to school every day together and then we spent our freshman year at Graceland together. He was like the brother I never had. I ran into him at a Mavericks game awhile back and he hasn't changed a bit. He is an artist now.
When I got married it was harder to keep up these friendships. I let them slide. Partly because I didn't feel that it was appropriate for me to be so close to these guys. I never realized how much I missed having male friends in my life until J.R. left. He never really filled that role for me. We could laugh and have a good time together, but he and I never had that bond that I had with my other male friends throughout my life. That brother bond.
In October I received a message through Facebook from a guy, Travis, that I had gone to junior high/high school with, offering me support during this difficult time. He was going through a similar situation and we began corresponding. I honestly am not quite sure that I would have made it through these past 8 months without him. He knows everything that goes on in my life. I know everything that goes on his. We talk/text every single day and he has given me some of the best advice. He lives in Atlanta(he's a wine/beer/liquor distributor) so we don't see each other. I met him in 7th grade history class. My opinion of him at that time was not that great. He sat next to a girl(bully) who made my life hell. I associated him with her. He then asked me out a few years later and I turned him down rather harshly. I thought he was arrogant and full of himself and wanted nothing to do with him. We laugh about this now. I can't imagine not having him in my life.
Around this same time, Nick came into my friendship loop. Although he is my first guy friend that I have mixed "dating" with. He has also been a constant support during this difficult time. He was a completely unexpected friend for me. I've known him for several years, but never really got to know him. He's funny and easy to talk to. I love that he is introducing me to my new single life by showing me new adventures outside of my suburban bubble. I refuse to let the "dating" mess up the friendship aspect of us though. I like having him as a friend too much.
Then there's Mike. Hi Mike(cause I know you are reading this). He is my Twitter friend. He too has shared the depressing journey of my past year. He makes me laugh and offers me support when I need it. I tease him relentlessly about being his stalker. I think he and I will be friends for a long time. When are we accidentally going to Blanc? (see how I did that? to force you to comment ;))
There are other men who have been my friends at one time or another. They are not less important in having some sort of impact on my life, these are just a few that stand out to me as I reflect today.
People often discuss whether or not men and women can actually be friends. There can be an argument on either side honestly. I have feelings for all of these guys. Are they romantic? Not necessarily. Have there been romantic feelings or confusion with some of them? Yes. But with that said, most of them, I would never have crossed that line because I wouldn't have wanted to muddy the friendship waters. I truly feel like men offer women a distinct and truthful view of life. Women tend to nurture and agree with each other. I have found that if I want the honest truth with no cushion, then I should ask a guy. I know this works the other way as well. Case in point: Travis texted me awhile back on a first date and asked if it was ok for him to get the number of ANOTHER girl while his "date" was in the restroom? Since he wasn't going to go out with this girl again. My response? "Hell no!!" And then the next time we talked I chastised him for even thinking that might be kosher! These questions and interactions are the beauty of male/female friendships.
As I watch my daughter with her first male friend, I reflect on how important the male friends I have and have had are to me. I hope that my daughters find some really great guy friends growing up to share their journeys with, to ask embarassing questions to, to make memories with. I can't imagine my life without these guys in it.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Out of the Mouths of Babes
A long time ago I made a promise to my children. It was a similar promise to the one that I made to my husband. Basically it was that I would be married for life. That they would never have to worry about their mom and dad getting divorced because we did not believe in giving up and took our vows before God seriously. This came up because we had some friends divorcing and it scared the kids. They saw their friends going through this terrible trial of life and even with their young hearts they knew that they never ever wanted to go through that same pain. I remember exactly where I was when we had this conversation. We were driving down 7 highway headed home from said friend's house. J.R. was not in the car with us.
Flash forward to yesterday. I had an appointment. My mother came over to watch the girls while I was out. When I returned she told me that the girls had opened up to her about a lot of what they have been feeling and seeing. Tara specifically brought up the fact that I had made this promise years before. My mother, my tactful and carefully worded mother, explained to her that I meant that promise, that I would have never broken that promise and that I did everything I could to keep that promise. And Tara's response was "I know my mom worked to save our family. It is because Daddy wanted a girlfriend."
They know the score. They have never had to be told the score. He was selfish and so he ruined his family so that he could have the grass on the other side of the fence. I somehow don't think that grass is going to be very filling or fulfilling. I don't really care if it is or isn't. I am sort of shamefully just glad that my children are smart enough to figure out what happened here. I honestly feel guilty for feeling that way, BUT I do.
Flash forward to yesterday. I had an appointment. My mother came over to watch the girls while I was out. When I returned she told me that the girls had opened up to her about a lot of what they have been feeling and seeing. Tara specifically brought up the fact that I had made this promise years before. My mother, my tactful and carefully worded mother, explained to her that I meant that promise, that I would have never broken that promise and that I did everything I could to keep that promise. And Tara's response was "I know my mom worked to save our family. It is because Daddy wanted a girlfriend."
They know the score. They have never had to be told the score. He was selfish and so he ruined his family so that he could have the grass on the other side of the fence. I somehow don't think that grass is going to be very filling or fulfilling. I don't really care if it is or isn't. I am sort of shamefully just glad that my children are smart enough to figure out what happened here. I honestly feel guilty for feeling that way, BUT I do.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Hell-Mart
I loathe Wal-Mart. If I never ever had to step foot in another store again, I would be quite happy. The problem for me currently is that my budget needs Wal-Mart. And so I find myself there among all of the People of Wal-Mart and feel that I can no longer judge these people as I am among them more than I care to admit.
Today I went to the doctor. I got a prescription and as I was walking out, the doctor said, "I wrote that prescription for a 90 day supply which you can often find at Wal-Mart for $10." This is a prescription that I have been paying $20 a month for almost as long as I can remember. So being sucked in by that price tag, I visited the pharmacy there for the first time.
Here is the difference in my experience there as compared to my local pharmacy. No eye contact whatsoever! Absolutely not one smile, nor one attempt to connect on a human level at all. There will never be any personalization because I counted 25 state licenses on the wall! 25! That's a lot of people. There is no way they can get to know their customers and they obviously don't care to. At my local pharmacy they know my name, they know I have three girls and often ask about them if they aren't with me. They give stickers and suckers and make phone calls about my prescription with a smile on their faces. They come out and suggest options for me if I am looking at an over the counter med that I am unfamiliar with.
Today my quandry is this, I want to support local businesses. Especially friendly ones with excellent service, but right now I can't afford to. It upsets me. I honestly felt like I was cheating on my pharmacy. I have issues...I am well aware. And this is exactly what drives local businesses out of business. They can't compete and I am forced into their store by my budget. BUT I swear as soon as my budget allows, I will be back to my friendly local pharmacy where I will be greeted once again with smiles.
Today I went to the doctor. I got a prescription and as I was walking out, the doctor said, "I wrote that prescription for a 90 day supply which you can often find at Wal-Mart for $10." This is a prescription that I have been paying $20 a month for almost as long as I can remember. So being sucked in by that price tag, I visited the pharmacy there for the first time.
Here is the difference in my experience there as compared to my local pharmacy. No eye contact whatsoever! Absolutely not one smile, nor one attempt to connect on a human level at all. There will never be any personalization because I counted 25 state licenses on the wall! 25! That's a lot of people. There is no way they can get to know their customers and they obviously don't care to. At my local pharmacy they know my name, they know I have three girls and often ask about them if they aren't with me. They give stickers and suckers and make phone calls about my prescription with a smile on their faces. They come out and suggest options for me if I am looking at an over the counter med that I am unfamiliar with.
Today my quandry is this, I want to support local businesses. Especially friendly ones with excellent service, but right now I can't afford to. It upsets me. I honestly felt like I was cheating on my pharmacy. I have issues...I am well aware. And this is exactly what drives local businesses out of business. They can't compete and I am forced into their store by my budget. BUT I swear as soon as my budget allows, I will be back to my friendly local pharmacy where I will be greeted once again with smiles.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
My favorite things
When I was a little girl, I loved loved loved to watch The Sound of Music. It always came on around Christmas, which sort of baffles me now because it really isn't a Christmas/Holiday movie at all. My sister and I would do the whole So Long routine on our cramped little stairs. We could pretend it was a grand staircase in the middle of Austria. I wanted to be Leisl in the rain with Rolf. Sixteen seemed so old to me and she was so beautiful in her white dress skipping across the benches in the gazebo. When my babies were, well babies, I would sing My Favorite Things to them. "Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winters that melt into spring, these are a few of my favorite things". I own this movie now. I have tried to get my own girls to watch this beloved musical and they can't make it through the first scene. Makes. Me. Sad.
So this song has been stuck in my head. I actually have been thinking a lot about my favorite things lately and decided to write them down.
1) Hot baths with bubbles and music
2) Naps
3) Reading
4) Running
5) Baking
6) Holding hands with someone, especially little hands.
7) Praying/Meditating
8) Yoga
9) Biking
10) Traveling
11) Wine
12) Desserts
13) Lemons
14) Morning coffee
15) Morning something else
16) My neighbors
17) My family
18) My friends
19) Colorado
20) Kids
21) Being Silly
22) Hammocks
23) The Symphony
24) Playing Board games with my family
25) The Beach
26) Kissing
27) Music...all the time
28) Fresh flowers especially Gerbera Daisies. Oh and Orange ones!
29) People Watching
30) Clean Sheets
I think while I fold laundry today(not one of my favorite things at all), I will pull the movie out and sing these old songs at the top of my lungs. Who am I kidding? I will have Coryn on the stairs teaching her the So Long song and how to exit gracefully while waving.
So this song has been stuck in my head. I actually have been thinking a lot about my favorite things lately and decided to write them down.
1) Hot baths with bubbles and music
2) Naps
3) Reading
4) Running
5) Baking
6) Holding hands with someone, especially little hands.
7) Praying/Meditating
8) Yoga
9) Biking
10) Traveling
11) Wine
12) Desserts
13) Lemons
14) Morning coffee
15) Morning something else
16) My neighbors
17) My family
18) My friends
19) Colorado
20) Kids
21) Being Silly
22) Hammocks
23) The Symphony
24) Playing Board games with my family
25) The Beach
26) Kissing
27) Music...all the time
28) Fresh flowers especially Gerbera Daisies. Oh and Orange ones!
29) People Watching
30) Clean Sheets
I think while I fold laundry today(not one of my favorite things at all), I will pull the movie out and sing these old songs at the top of my lungs. Who am I kidding? I will have Coryn on the stairs teaching her the So Long song and how to exit gracefully while waving.
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